sexinthesticksandstuff

I am a slut.

As you’ve surmised, I like sex.

The word slut originated in the 14th century as a term for an untidy or dirty person, regardless of gender. It wasn’t until around the turn of the 20th century that slut evolved into a derogatory term, most often used to describe a woman perceived to have many sexual partners or engage in frequent sexual activity.

So, by definition, I am a slut.

Minus the derogatory, shameful, sinful connotation, of course.

I have a complicated relationship with the word.

I’ve been called a slut since I was far too young. Young enough that the label made no sense and certainly didn’t reflect anything about my actual life. There’s something deeply fucked up about assigning a sexualized label to a child. And yet, those words stuck with me.

It’s always bothered me being called a slut. I think about the people who have commented on my sex life over the years. Some of those people were people I considered friends. For a long time, I internalized those messages.

Now, I understand that other people’s judgments often have much more to do with their own beliefs, shame, discomfort, or expectations than they do with me. But knowing that intellectually doesn’t mean those words never hurt.

I’m grateful that the people I surround myself with now are different. They accept me. They celebrate my path toward sexual liberation, even when their own paths look completely different from mine.

I don’t feel ashamed of having multiple sexual partners. I don’t feel ashamed of exploring. I don’t feel ashamed of being single and enjoying myself. When I’m in a monogamous relationship, I am a loyal and faithful partner—with the exception of that one drunken make-out session in college that I’m certainly not going to pretend didn’t happen.

Sexual freedom doesn’t mean there are no boundaries. It means I get to decide what those boundaries are. For me, that means consent. Safety. Mutual pleasure. Honesty. Respect.

You can fuck whoever you want, regardless of gender, as long as everyone involved is consenting, safe, and into it.